"Given a chance, I'd like to be the man who lived quietly, never involved in any controversy."Somehow, it's hard to believe Shoaib Akhtar meant these words. After all, this is a man whose controversies have always overshadowed and easily outnumbered his achievements on the field throughout his career. Ball-tampering, suspect action, beating up a teammate, doping allegations, indiscipline, spats - Shoaib has seen it all!
The latest storm has been caused by the former Pakistan pacer's just-released autobiography, aptly titled 'Controversially Yours'. Akhtar and his book hit the headlines even before the official launch, as he allegedly made disparaging remarks about everyone from Sachin Tendulkar, Rahul Dravid, Wasim Akram and even Shah Rukh Khan.
As the furore over his comments refuses to die down - the latest, his book launch events in Mumbai and Bangalore have now been cancelled, Akhtar once again finds himself in the news, something he himself acknowledges has been a habitual part of his life.
Yet, at the function to launch his book in Delhi on Friday, the man in the eye of the storm was unperturbed. "I'm not scared of anyone except God," he said coolly. Either years of experience have taught him how to handle it well, or it was all part of a clever plan to gain publicity for the book. Probably both. Akhtar, one of the fastest bowlers ever seen, addressed the controversies, of course. He really had no option, with his earlier statements having caused a flutter in the Indian media.
The 36-year-old, though, was in a reconciliatory mood. He bluntly stuck to his claims over ball-tampering and match-fixing - "Players either tamper with the ball or the game." But he retracted most of his other comments, instead imploring all present to read his book and then understand his words in the context in which they had been written.
Despite the obvious sales pitch, it was a different side of Shoaib Akhtar that was in evidence, as opposed to the errant, aggressive and at times arrogant speedster who troubled many a batsman with his fearsome pace, devastating yorkers and quick bouncers.
This was a Shoaib who was confident yet humble, charming yet frank, interesting and even funny. In an hour-long conversation, he entertained a captivated audience with tales that surprised, amused and touched in equal measure.
Akhtar, who made his debut in 1997, spoke about his constant battles with pain and the lengths he went through to play in spite of his troubled knees. Clearly the ambition was there right from the start, as he related how he rose from his humble background to make it big.
"I was fighting on two fronts," he stated. "I was fighting my own body and I was fighting the people who were telling me I would never be good enough for Pakistan, to replace Waqar (Younis) and Wasim, to get Sachin out, to become a star. But I always knew I would make it."
Shoaib has often been linked with a move to Bollywood, and he displayed his potential to the hilt with dramatic accounts of how he dealt with all the lows in his career. "I would put down the curtains and switch off the lights so that even I couldn't see myself. It was just me in my dark room," he described, recounting how in the days after being banned for chucking and later doping, he was alone in his despair, crying, without food or sleep, before making one of his many comebacks.
The tenacity and single-minded determination was matched by a humane touch, as was evident from the story of the tongawallah who had given shelter to Akhtar when he had gone to Lahore for trials as a 15-year-old, and whom the bowler later went back to thank after he'd achieved fame.
There were plenty of light moments too as Shoaib related several humorous anecdotes in an easy, engaging manner, such as the time when he masqueraded as a college professor and took an entire class on Islam, or how he got into a breakfast-table fight with the burly Matthew Hayden before wisely deciding to back off after a look at the Australian's build!
The quick wit came across even when conversation steered to more serious issues. When asked about the atmosphere in the Pakistan dressing room, Shoaib's instant reply was, "At least Pakistan keep it behind-the-scenes. Your (India's) Harbhajan (Singh) slapped in front of everyone!" When lamenting how the ICC has made the rules too strict, he rued, "Now even if you straighten your hair, you are fined! If we can't bowl bouncers, can't wink, can't give autographs to girls, then what should we do?"
He didn't spare himself either. "I've spent most of my life either in hotels, on the cricket field, or in controversies. Most of my earnings have gone away in fines!" As for why no women are mentioned in the book, he grinned, "I don't kiss and tell."
That's Shoaib Akhtar for you, a colourful character who has entertained as much off the field as on it. It's been an eventful journey in which he has created and then harmed his career on his own doing, achieved success and experienced failure in equal intensity, yet worked hard and fulfilled his dream. Even now, in retirement, the melodrama continues.
"I've lived every moment and now I have written this book to tell my side of the story. I want people to understand me better, despite all the controversy."While that is unlikely to ever happen, one can only hope that after all the hue and cry, the 'no-holds barred' book is as compelling as Shoaib's career has been.